So I went out to dinner at this "hip" Italian restaurant in the North Beach district of the city. I don't usually go out to those kinds of places unless it's a date, but my good friend Dom was visiting San Francisco, so it wasn't just any other night. Usually I'll just eat Popeye's or some hot-wings because it's cheaper and I like that shit better.
The restaurant was called "Pan De Rei" which I think means "bread of kings" in Italian, but I'm not sure about that. Anyways, this place was pretty good but not fit for a king, this place was too cramped. Kings like space and shit, you know so they can stretch out after eating a turkey leg or whatever. I was with Dom, a couple of his buddies from USC, and a friend of mine from San Francisco who happens to be the sister of one Dom's buddies that is with us, let's call her Rachel.
So we're ordering drinks and enjoying the bread with oil and balsamic vinegar and two of Rachel's friends meet up with us. I'm friends with one of them while the other I've seen around at parties and shit, but I couldn't tell you her name. The girl who I didn't know annoyed me right off the bat as she kept trying to sit in Dom's seat next to me while he was in the bathroom. There were like 3 other open seats. I doubt it was because she thought I was cute because this girl was part Asian or something and I am pretty sure Asian girls are afraid of me. So she settles for the seat across from me and Dom and she starts pouring salt and pepper in the fucking oil and vinegar dish for the bread...WHAT THE FUCK? Shouldn't you have some consideration for the people at this side of the table who might want to take their bread without a shitload of salt and pepper? I just watched in awe as she kept doing it throughout the night, and this wasn't a little bit of salt and pepper, it was a fucking ton. There was more salt and pepper in that little dish than in Queen Elizabeth's panties, if you catch my drift. I just ordered a mojito and got over it. I wasn't in the mood to call anyone out while I was trying to enjoy Dom's company since I hadn't seen him in like 6 months.
After I decided to ignore the annoying girl, I got to looking at the menu and I settled on the squid ink pasta with wine sauce. It sounded good to me. At this point I am really enjoying myself despite the salt and pepper girl. When they served us our food, I was surprised to see that the pasta was black. People were like "haven't you seen squid ink pasta?" No, I have not, I'm not a worldly guy. I mostly eat different kinds of chicken for dinner, and when I want to treat myself I drive 15 minutes to the Mission district for carne asada tacos, so anything with marine cephalapod discharge is new to me. Well the pasta was delicious. It came with a shitload of seafood in there, clams and all that good shit. While my tasty food, I also noticed the amount of off-field talent (girls) in the restaurant. A lot of good looking girls were in there, patrons and waitresses alike. I was having a great time.
Between the good food and the abundance of good looking girls, I began to think that I should go to places like this more often. This all ended when this douchebag waiter who was pretending to be Italian starts yelling to get everyone's attention. What the fuck did this guy have to say that was so important that everyone paying $19 for glorified Chef Boyardee needed to hear it? It was someone's birthday. It was some girl in the restaurant's 23rd birthday. Yippeee! The fake Italian insisted that everyone sing happy birthday, which only pissed me off further. I would gladly sing for a little kid or a 21st birthday, but 23? C'mon! If there was any consolation prize, the girl had pretty nice boobs, so when she stood up during the birthday song to accept her Tiramisu, I just didn't sing and looked at her boobs. Don't even think about calling me a jerk, she was wearing a very low cut top. She wants people to look at that shit. Well anyway, I guess it's just going to be Popeye's from now on, unless I'm on a date or decide that I want to spend $30 on some pretty good pasta and a mojito that is just a shitload of lime juice and mint leaves with less than a shot of Rum. Yea that sounds tremendous.
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