I fucking love America. I love America so much for more reasons than I can count, so I decided on ten good ones. These aren't the 10 biggest reasons for me loving America, just 10 that I thought about just now. Let's do this shit.
10. Being an American means that I can go to any foreign country and take a dump in the bathroom of just about any store and not have to buy anything.
9. America has it's own Superhero, Captain America. What other country has a superhero named after it? Could you imagine a "Captain France"? That shit would be weak, he would go around smoking cigs,eating crepes and just be a total pussy. Not like Captain America.
8. You can eat a breakfast burrito to start the day, In-N-Out (or some other delicious burger) for lunch, and Sushi or some other fantastic foreign food for dinner. You can't do that in any other country.
7. Buffalo Wings.
6. American Football. No other country really plays it (sorry Canada), and I totally understand why. Would any other country let their kids take part in this kind of sport: Yea I don't think football is going to catch on anywhere else, and that's just the way I like it.
5. Having Mexico to the south is awesome. It's like if you could have unprotected sex using someone else's genitalia. That way you could have sex with as many questionable people as you want without getting AIDS or anything. No consequences. That's what going to Mexico is like. Mexico is using someone else's shlong.
4. No other country could spawn two religions that are undeniable and complete horse shit, Mormonism and Scientology. Dudes just made both religions up. While I don't support either faith and the bullshit that comes from them i.e. those Mormon dudes on the bikes and the movie "Battlefield Earth", I admire the American brand of freedom that allows you to invent a religion but doesn't allow butt sex in some states. Does any of it make sense? Fuck no it doesn't.
3. R. Kelly. He couldn't get away with this shit anywhere else.
2. No other country has the stones to make the movie "Baby Geniuses".
1. This video captures just about everything I love about America in just over 2 minutes. Fuck Yeah.
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