Fucking shit man. When is this game going to end? Lets see, it's the top of the 9th and we're down 5-3. OK, that's not too bad. I hope I'm not due up in the bottom of the inning. I'm too hungry to hit, seriously, I'm useless to Terry right now. Christ, I need something to eat in a big way. I wish that guy sitting up on the monster hadn't dropped his crab cake on the warning track. If it had hit the grass I totally would have ate it. That was a shame. I wish Romero could just get us out of this inning so that we can wrap this up. Oh shit, Terry's bringing Timlin in. That's cool,he'll take care of this shit. Who the fuck is that guy at the plate? Let me ask Coco.
Manny: Hey Coco, who is that guy batting?
Coco Crisp: It's Vernon Wells.
Manny: You sure about that man? I don't think so.
Coco: I'm positive Manny.
Manny: Doesn't look like him to me.
Coco: You're joking right? They only have 2 black dudes and the other one is Frank Thomas and that definitely isn't Thomas.
Manny: True, it must be a black kid that they called up from the minors or something.
Coco: No it's not.
Manny: Agree to disagree.
What the hell is Coco's problem. That guy is so uptight. Always diving for balls and shit, just relax bro. He almost killed himself when A-Rod hit that homer on Friday. That shit was hysterical. Oh shit, this black guy just knocked one to center field. He's rounding second, I should be able to get a good look at his face. Yup that's Wells, Coco was right.
Manny: Hey Coco, you were right. That was Vernon. My bad.
Coco: Fuck you!
Manny: What did I do?
I swear that guy has a menstrual cycle. He can be real cool sometimes, but not today. Looks like Timlin has his work cut out. Man on third with no outs. Good luck with that Mike. I think I'm going to get some ice cream once this game ends. Some Chunky Monkey would be fantastic. Oh shit, Timlin got two outs. I didn't even notice. I guess I was pretty deep in that Chunky Monkey daydream. Who's up now? Scoreboard says Aaron Hill. I don't even know who the fuck Aaron Hill is. Timlin should be able to handle him. Alright, Timlin's got him down 0-2. Lets do this Mikey. OK fly ball. The ball's still in the air but I think Coco's got it. It's still going, going, going OOOOOOHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUCK. Wonderful. We're down 7-3. Shit. I just want to go home man. OK fuck yeah, Royce Clayton is up. This guy is fucking awful. OK he grounded out to third. Almost home.
Bottom of the 9th
Let me ask Terry if I can go get some candy or something.
Manny: Hey Terry, I'm starving. Can I go get some cotton candy?
Terry Francona: No Manny, you're due up third.
Manny: No shit?
Terry: No Shit.
Manny: UUUGGGHHHH.
I'm so hungry, so tired. I can't perform like this, let alone come up with a big hit in the bottom of the 9th. Lets see what these guys do. Youkilis is up, easy out. Ground out to third. Beautiful. Ortiz is up. This could complicate things. Oh shit, he grounded out to third too. I guess I had better mix it up. I'm not even going to swing. Alright Frasor, gimme some strikes so we can all go home. I'm not gonna chase anything out of the zone and look like a jackass, please just throw it over the plate. Stike one. Good start. Strike two, man I love this fucking guy. I'm gonna ask Theo if he can trade for this guy. Alright Frasor, you've got me down now finish me off. Ball. What the fuck man? Alright 1-2 count. 1-2 is right, right? I always forget which comes first, balls or strikes. I think it's alphabetical so the balls go first. Ball two. I don't like this guy anymore. 2-2 count, shitty. Alright, he's winding up...strike three. Fuck yeah, OK Manny, don't act excited. Act like you're pissed. Yea that's good. I can finally get something to eat. I'm gonna go ask JD Drew if he has any more of those Cliff bars. Those shits are tasty.
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