5 Things That Must Stop

So here's the deal. I'm regrettably sitting at home on this wonderful Friday night. If figured that if I am going to waste my night, I may as well do it blogging. Well I've been looking at shit on the internet like I always do, and I was astonished that damn near everything I saw got on my nerves. So I decided that I would post my list of 5 things that must stop. Here we go.

5. Using the word "bitches" at the end of a sentence, and other Dave Chappelle thieving.

I know that people are imitating Dave Chappelle when they say things like, "I'm going to Coachella, BITCHES!" or "I got an 'A' on my final, BITCHES!" This shit has gotten old. It really wasn't very funny in the first place. The shit was funny when Dave Chappelle said it because he's fuckin' DAVE CHAPPELLE! He might be the funniest man alive, so you look like a jackass when you think that it sounds good coming out of your mouth. Now that I've got all of that out of my system, it is totally acceptable to say "Bitch" as opposed to "Bitches" at the end of a sentence. Chappelle's version was only original because no one really ever said "Bitch" in the plural form at the end of a statement. Doing the Lil' Jon impression is still unacceptable, for Christ's sake the show has been off the air since '03. Let's just retire it and honor the greatness without beating it to death.

4. Livestrong rubber bracelets
Fuck Lance, he's a cheater and a quitter (I still admire him, I just don't like that guy, can't put a finger on it). I know the bracelets were for cancer, a noble cause. But fuck you if you think that you're more compassionate for wearing one. I had one at one time, so I'm not totally innocent either. My whole point is that the main idea of the "Livestrong" bracelet was to use Lance's celebrity and inspiring story to raise cancer awareness. The idea was to get everyone to donate the dollar for a bracelet in hopes that people would maybe donate more money or their time. I'm not mad at the people who bought the bracelets. It was a hell of an idea and it was good for the cause, but there was some douchebaggery that tainted it. I'm mad because there is some dickweed in a fraternity somewhere who wears one thinking, "Bro, if I wear one of these things chicks will totally think that I'm like sensitive and shit. Big time pussy magnet Bro." Fuck those guys.

3. Corporate Licensing for Sports Arenas/Stadiums

This shit is the worst. Look at some of the names we have here:
Cleveland Cavaliers: Quicken Loans Arena
Los Angeles Lakers: Staples Center
Seattle Mariners: Safeco Field
San Francisco Giants: AT&T Park, formerly SBC Park

This is all bullshit. Teams should have sweet names for their Arenas/Stadiums/Ballparks/what-the fuck-ever. For example, the Staples Center should be called Pimpin' Paradise. I know that sounds like it has nothing to do with the Lakers franchise, but think about Wilt Chamberlain and Magic Johnson. No one was fucking more than those two.

2. Celebrity Basketball Games

What the fuck is this shit? The celeb basketball game at NBA All Star Weekend in Vegas went down tonight. The final score was 40-21, so you know it was good. Some of the participants were Michael Clarke Duncan, Carrot Top, Nelly, Lil' Bow Wow, David Arquette, and Tony Potts. Wait, who the fuck is Tony Potts? Isn't the idea of a celebrity game that you know who the participants are? Well the game sucked ass, which was obvious due to the High School Girls JV-like score of 40-21. The most interesting part of the game was when Reggie Bush rolled his ankle. This is supposed to be one of the more heralded celeb games and it sucked more balls than Kim Kardashian does in the sex tape. I have no idea if she does that in the tape, I haven't seen it yet. Someone let me know if I'm wrong with that reference.

1. POPPED COLLARS


Look at these assholes. They definitely aren't fucking tonight. Why would anyone ever do this? Kanye West still does it, so I think he makes dickweeds all over the world think they can get away with it. Listen up ass-hats, you all look like idiots with your collar popped. Kanye looks stupid with his collar popped, but he can get away with it. You wanna know why? Because he's a celebrity, unlike Tony Potts. Celebrities are supposed to do shit that gets our attention. Celebrities wear ridiculous shit so that people talk about it, just like I am now. I have mentioned Kanye 3 times now in this post alone because of his popped collar, so you know it's working. However, the dipshits pictured above are just anonymous douchebags who definitely don't have the tabloids buzzing over their fashion sense.

With that said, cut the popped collars the fuck out. Glad I got all of that out of my system. I'm spent, I'mma have a beer. I'll be back tomorrow