It's Ash Wednesday!

So I got out of class today and saw a bunch of people walking around campus with soot crosses on their foreheads. I was like "what kind of shit is this? Oh Yea Ash Wednesday." I know what Ash Wednesday is despite not being Christian because I go to a Jesuit school. I've seen these people rubbing chimney dirt on their foreheads for the last couple of years. I didn't know too much about Ash Wednesday, but I do know that it means that Easter is 46 days away. This 46 day period is called Lent. Catholics like to fast or give up something for lent. For example, someone may choose to give up eating pork during lent. I once knew this guy who said he was gonna give up masturbation for Lent, but I think he was missing the point. Well anyway, I'm not giving shit up because I don't have to. All this means to me is that Easter is in 46 days and Easter kicks ass. Here are a few reasons why:

1. All types of candy that you can only get during Easter comes back. Cadbury Cream Eggs and all of that shit. Fuck those little marshmallow birds that are covered in that sugary shit. Those things are gross, but most of that candy is good.

2. Easter gives us all an excuse to throw some kind of costume theme party. This means that girls wear those sexy lingerie-bunny outfits. I'm not sure what kind of outfit a guy would wear that would be Easter-appropriate. Maybe I can dress up as black Jesus, the easter bunny, or maybe just wear Easter-like pastel Polo shirts.

3. Easter also gives young adults the green light to play any practical jokes they want, as long as multicolored eggs are involved. A good one is to get one of those egg painting kits and paint a whole mess of eggs without boiling them. Once you're done you take your eggs around and give them to people who will think they're boiled and eventually that egg will break and they'll get egg yolk all over their clothes. Pretty sweet huh?

4. Dirty Easter jokes. There are a bunch of them, but here's one of my favorites. Why did the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? Because he didn't want anyone to know that he was fucking a chicken. That joke is interchangeable with just about every NBA player if you can reword it properly. But seriously, there are a lot of good Easter jokes.

Well we have those four things to be pumped about. Come Easter, I'll let you know how much I indulged in each one. Peace.